September 8, 2011 was the last time I had my lost dream. This is the only date I have recorded of having the dream. I do not have a record of how many (countless) times I have had these dreams, but I can retrace the origin of them all the way back to when I was 19 years old (21 years ago). My dad and I rode to work together and I remember riding by a building that looked like one in my lost dream. For many years the lost dream was in that same building. In the dream the building seemed to represent a school but it looked like an office building. At age 19 I had gone to college for one year and I was back at home working a full-time job.
The recurring dream always had different variations, but the ultimate outcome was that I was lost. In the dream I keep walking around in circles or I keep getting further and further away from the direction I need to go in. It wasn’t until this year (now it seems obvious) that I really figured it out.
Examples of previous lost dreams:
- Driving and getting off on the wrong exit that led me back to where I started
- Looking for a way out of a building but walking up a stairwell that keeps getting narrower
- Trying to find a building in a large downtown, walking the same blocks over and over
- One on a cruise ship I was trying to find my room and ended up in the crew quarters
- I still shake my head at the one where I chose to abandon my car, and find my way on a bicycle???
- A large office building where I missed my job interview. I got on the wrong elevator. By the time I found where I needed to be, the office was deserted.
I am always, ALWAYS so lost and cannot find my way back. It was like the dream would just give up on me and I would wake up feeling defeated.
I have known for some time that the meaning behind these dreams was significant but I could never make a connection. When I woke up after the having the dream on September 8th, I took the time to analyze it. The dream did not make me feel good and I was tired of having it. I wanted to be in control of not having it again. I was saying to the dream, I’m not lost. I’m writing now. I’m headed in the right direction. What are you coming back for? I asked myself, "Okay what has changed in the last day or two?" It just so happens that our, my husband’s photography business had just started up again the day before. He is a sports photographer on the side and soccer season was cranking up. I am his partner assistant.
Upon waking after the September 8th dream I was really disappointed for having the lost dream again. I understood now that the dream meant that I was “lost” in my life and I disagreed this time. As I analyzed it, I realized this lost dream was slightly different from all of the others. One difference about the dream is that there were three elevators. Instead of getting on one like I would have in other dreams, becoming further lost, each elevator had a sign that told me going up was the wrong direction. The dream ended with me going down a long winding escalator. Though I woke up from riding out of there on a long winding escalator, I know this dream was positive. Other dreams would have had me looking for my car, or riding around in the parking garage and not finding my way out. When I woke up from this dream and took time to analyze it, I discerned that after 21 years this was the last time I would have THIS dream. The dream was telling me you are going in the right direction now; do not get so wrapped up in other business that you forget your own. Do not walk away from your future. So I’m learning how to juggle.
On Friday night I had a different dream that I interpreted immediately. I woke up to write down a few lines and went back to sleep peacefully. In this dream I was driving in a dark fog. It was so dark and foggy I literally could not see in front of me. I was three streets away from home so I knew exactly where to go (I was not lost); I just could not go any further because I could not see.
I have been working on a project that is pretty much complete. In my mind I had hoped to have it ready for Black Friday by way of self-publishing. It’s funny how things get held up. It took a little long to get the edited file back. My editor will smile if she reads this. I took another week or so putting on finishing touches and then ordered a proof copy of the book. I kept checking the mail wondering what was taking so long. When I finally decide to check the status, the proof is still in the online shopping cart. When I finally get a shipping confirmation, I decide I should have done one more thing. It’s still not really ready.
So my Friday night dream was telling me to pull over and focus. Don’t rush to have this ready for Christmas. Maybe it can still happen but for now I’m not going to worry about that. I am pulling over until I can see things more clearly.
Here’s the thing…what happens when you drive too fast in a dark fog? If you don’t think God speaks to you in dreams, you haven’t had a real revelation.