The Three Avocados


I am on vacation from both my boys; the 41 year old and the 6 year old. My first thought as to what I am NOT going to do is cook one single thing - unless you count the turkey bacon I put in the oven on broil for a few minutes for my BLT this morning.

I did my goodie grocery shopping before they left so I wouldn’t have to go out for the entire weekend. So I bought:

Tortilla Chips
Guacamole (though I am very capable of making my own)
Bag Lettuce
Feta Cheese
Grape Tomatoes
Melting Chocolate
Gummy Bears
Diet Coke
Regular Pepsi

This is what I am supposed to live off of with a few ingredients I already had at the house. So this morning I had my BLT, then for lunch I had a banana and some strawberries dipped in chocolate. In the afternoon I take out the guacamole, chips and salsa for a snack. The first taste of the guacamole, I scrunch up my face with an added lip curl. I can’t believe I used to eat this stuff before I learned how to make my own. I throw it in the trash. I eat a few chips with salsa, totally unsatisfied. I don’t want to go out. I’ve been lounging around in workout clothes, my hair looks okay, but I don’t wanna go out! I’ll wait. I eat a few Raisnettes. Then I think, I’m kinda hungry and I really don’t have anything to eat. I’m not really feeling my bag letttuce, feta cheese, dried cranberry, olive oil & balsamic vinegar salad even though it is very tasty. I want GUACAMOLE!!

I make my list of ingredients for the guacamole. I wipe the shine off my face, put on some lip gloss and head to the commissary. I find almost everything except for key ingredients; they didn’t have any cilantro and the avocados were TOO HARD.

The next store on the way home is Food Lion, and they did have cilantro. They also had red onions already diced. Even though I already bought a whole red onion, the diced one will make the guacamole making process go a little faster. But their avocados were TOO SOFT.

I’m getting a little evil. I’m hungry and my only choice in my loop back home is WALMART. I say fine, I can check Redbox, and I need coffee creamer; the kind I like can only be found at Walmart. The Redbox line is aggravatingly too long. I get the coffee creamer first and come back to the avocados. They are JUST RIGHT!!!

I feel like I stand in line longer to pay for these two items than it took me to shop and pay at the other two places. I’m thinking, I’m not going to have guacamole today. It needs to sit and refrigerate for about 30 minutes after you make it; it’ll taste better. I drive slowly by a new French take-out place - my boys would never eat there. I figure I might try it. On the inside nothing appeals to me, I politely ask for the take-out menu and leave. I drive slowly by Subway. My boys will eat there - skip it. I can have Subway when they get back. They don’t eat guacamole and that’s what I want.

Back at home, I decide to make my salad. I’ll have guacamole tomorrow when I am not too hungry to make it. In addition to that the ‘just right’ avocado could stand one more day of ripening.

Courtesy of a good friend, the following is her recipe for Guacamole. You know its good when its a 'summa this and summa that' recipe:

A couple not TOO HARD, not TOO SOFT, but JUST RIGHT ripe avocados 
Some chopped tomatoes
Some cilantro
Some red onion
Some lime juice
Some Guacamole seasoning
Some black pepper

This is enough to get sick off of if you eat it all by yourself but not enough to share without making some more. ENJOY!

Sporadically Yours,