SOC: I can't write about this...

Today’s stream of consciousness optional prompt is a hard one: What are some things you wish you could blog about but can’t?

Mine is more like, what don’t you write about. I don’t wish that I could/would write about race. I don’t want to. But race has been a big part of my life and some of the effects of racism have left scars. But I’ve had to shake it off because the military community I have been a part of is diverse. And diversity is beautiful. I don’t know what to teach my son about race. I don’t want him to experience what I have experienced. I hate for him to know what I know. I hate for him to see what I have seen. Yet he will need to know, a black boy is judged by the color of his skin. It hurts my heart to have to tell him, to walk slow, to  stand up straight, to keep his hands visible and at his sides, to not wear a hoodie.  My heart hurts to know that 8 years from now  or sooner I will have to have the same talk with him that black mothers had with their boys years and years and years ago. I want Christopher to see diversity as beautiful - to see each individual as who they are, not what color they are. But I am  afraid that I still have to teach him what hurts my heart to say. We are not the same. Seemingly we will always be judged by the color or our skin.

“I have a dream that one day little black boys and girls will be holding hands with little white boys and girls.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr., I Have A Dream

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 This 5 minute Stream of Consciousness was inspired by things I don't want to talk about or write about.

It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.