I sold five books to a cheapskate...
I sold five books to my daddy. This is the man who I left a voicemail for on his office phone saying that my brother and I needed for him to contribute $X to a Mother’s Day gift for mom. I saved the returned voicemail until my last day on the job because it was hilariously funny. “What do I need to give yall money for? She ain’t my mama.” Maybe you had to be there. But it was funny.
So I got this e-mail from my daddy this morning about The Christopher Chronicles:
“Will people who purchased the first book want the second edition. Most of my co-workers purchased the first edition and I was thinking about buying a second edition for them. What do you think?”
Perhaps in his almost 62 year old mind, he forgot that he’s asked me this about five times already. This time I wanted to ignore his e-mail or send a barky one that said, “JUST BUY SOMETHING ELSE.” But then I thought again, maybe in his almost 62 year old mind, he forgot that he already asked me that.
So I exhale my swollen breath and let my fingers do the talking:
“Have you looked at it? You're asking the creator so I'm biased. This book makes me not like the first one at all. This one to me is the real deal, doesn't look amateur at all. It has my picture and short author bio on the back. It's re-arranged. New graphics on the cover. Some of the original 99 have a bit more added to it for explanation. There are creative titles for the table of contents, a foreword that gets your mind inside the head of a six year old, (4) stories from my blog that I told about him (7) Christopherisms from the next book. Two people bought it again that have the first one and told me they love the second one. Don't know what else to tell you, but you might want to look at it yourself and determine the value of what you are giving away. If I personally loved the first go round of a product I would love the new and improved version - even better if someone bought it for me and I didn't have to buy it again.”
Seconds later I get his long reply:
“I’ll take that as a yes. I should give it to them. I will pay you out of my paycheck on Dec. 28.”
Here’s the thing... my daddy isn’t a cheapskate, he is very VERY generous. He just doesn’t ever have any money.
So thanks daddy for helping me with my elevator pitch. If I can learn to make that reply into a 15 second speech, then I'll have a great year.