You say Sailphone, I say Cellphone...

I really wanted to assume that it was a wrong pronunciation when Christopher said, “It’s not so scary if you turn down the valium (volume).” But there is no reason he would know the word valium. So valium for volume it is. Now I really cringed and had to accept he has a bit of a southern drawl when he asked me, “Mom how do you turn up the valium on your sailphone?”

In a post I wrote a few months back about good hair days (GHDs), I met up with a lady at Sam’s who complimented my hair. It went something like this:

“Excuse me… I hope ya don’t thank um crazy foaskin you thius but cannah take ah pickcha of yoah hayah with ma sailphone? I’ve been trine to tell ma beautishun what I wont and if I cun take a pickcha of yoahs, I thank sheyall undastayund. Yoah hayah is so priddy.”

Just in case any Yankees had a hard time translating that, what she said was, “Excuse me… I hope you don’t think I am crazy for asking you this, but can I take a picture of your hair with my cellphone? I’ve been trying to tell my beautician what I want, and if I can take a picture of yours, I think she will understand. Your hair is so pretty.”

So I helped the nice lady figure out where the “camrah” was on her sailphone so she could take a pickcha of my hayah.

When we were leaving, Christopher asked me, “Was that lady a stranger?” I replied, “Yes”. He said, “Well how come you let her take a picture of you with her sailphone?” Yes I did set a very bad example. My mind went there, thinking but not saying out loud, "You don't let nice strangers take pictures of you."

I’m a Southern girl, not a Suthan gal, by way of a Northern family. People around these parts don’t think I have an accent but my Northern family can hear it very well. I used to try to and be selective when using the word y'all but for this southern girl, there’s just no gettin’ around it.

Here’s the thing… there are some words that I say, cringing as they come out of my mouth. The word nine is one of them. You know, it comes out, naaan. Screeeeech!


This was a writing prompt for Write on Edge Remembe{RED} memoir meme.

The prompt was to:

Write a piece of creative non-fiction in which turns of phrase, dialect, slang, or colloquialisms feature prominently. (in 400 words or less)