And on the 7th day, we did not rest...

For those of you who are following my insane workout adventure, I have an update. I QUIT!

No I didn’t. But if the Insanity workout were a job, I would have been fired for my bad attitude. 

Last weekend Papa Bear and I went out of town. Our first day we took a walk to “do something” for our workout. The next day was a rest day and the day after that we didn’t exercise at all because we were driving back home. On Tuesday we picked up where we left off. 

I’m usually the leader out of bed, to have my morning coffee and buzz around, before Papa Bear shuffles out for our workout. Friday morning rolls around and I can’t get up. Papa Bear doesn’t move either. It’s like one of those Sunday mornings when neither one of us wants to go to church and we lay as still as possible until it is too late to possibly make it. 

Finally I’m ready to get up and have coffee and I say, “We’re not working out?” feigning disappointment. He feigns disappointment back and says, “I wanted to...” as he calculates how many hours until he has to leave the house for his appointment, “but that would be cutting it too close”. We feign disappointment together that we have to miss our workout. Oh well. Whew.

Saturday I’m laying in the bed, settling in for a peaceful nights sleep. Papa Bear says, “You wanna go ahead and workout before church tomorrow?” I said, “What?! Tomorrow is a rest day!” He goes on to say we missed Monday and did that workout Tuesday and we missed Friday so Sunday is not a rest day.” I throw a curve ball I hope he won’t catch. “Well we need to be on the floor by 5:30 which means I need to set the alarm for 5:15.” I go on to explain, my hair will be wet, I need time to cool off blah blah blah. Church starts at 8:00. He says, “Okay”. I rolled over and sighed steaming mad. 

It’s true you shouldn’t go to bed angry. You know why? Because you can’t get any sleep. I tossed and turned all night. We tossed and turned together. He was probably mad that I snatched and rolled over after huffing like I had an attitude with him. I did. At some point in the night, I pulled my pillow from underneath his head. I remember looking at the clock at three something trying to calculate how many minutes I had left. 

When I reached slobber zone, the alarm went off and my name was ‘Can’t get right’ until well after we had returned home from church. I was mad because what supposed to be a rest day, was now going to be one of the sweatiest workouts. If you could have heard the voices of “Me, Myself and I” in my head... Me said, I would workout out better tomorrow if Myself could have had Sunday as a rest day. We continued that argument in our head until I had the last word, “Oh shut up.”

So this morning I’m laying in the bed. I’ve had a peaceful nights sleep. I’m laying there past my get up and have coffee buzz around before the workout time. Papa Bear says, “Aren’t we working out?” I barked, “TODAY IS A REST DAY!” He said, “No it’s not. We missed Monday and we missed Friday.” I’m trying to do the math. There is no way I want to workout today. You know - it’s that time - hence the attitude. I say, “Okay fine. Let’s get up and workout.” He said, “You don’t have to have an attitude with me.” I said, “I’m not. I’m having an attitude with MYSELF!”

So he wonders aloud what is on the schedule while I snatch and put my workout clothes on. I said, “It’s the fit test and I’m going to do worse than I did the first time.” He asks, “Why is that?” I glare like, DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. I DON’T HAVE ANY ENERGY AND I DON’T WANT TO BE MEASURED OR WEIGHED! But I say, “A woman has ten good days....” and he sighs a “sorry I asked” sigh before I finish my speech.

So I’m in the living room waiting, attitude in check, ready to go. He looks at the paper and says, “Today IS a rest day, you were right.” I asked, “But what about the whole we didn’t workout Monday and Friday?” He said, “Well we worked out yesterday and we need to have a day of rest before we do the fit test.” insert the expression here that you think I had.

Wanting to punch him only lasted a few seconds and then I was glad to retreat into the kitchen to make my coffee.

Here’s the thing... it’s going to be a good day. The volcano of Mount Me Myself and I has erupted enough in the last 48 hours that I think we can start to cool off now. 

Kenya G. Johnson