Open Letter to People Who Go Too Far

To All Whom it May Concern,

I’ve been stewing about this since Mother’s Day. Perhaps this letter will be cathartic.

I want to tell you that you ruined my day.

It was bad enough that you initiated a conversation about when I was going to have another baby 52x13 = about 676 times over the last thirteen years. I’d been so patient. But you brought it up on Mother’s Day. You told me that so and so was pregnant at 47 and asked me how old I was again. I said I was 47 and you said, “See?” I held my tongue and tried to redirect but you stayed.

You asked accusingly, “Didn’t you ever want to have another baby?” You told me that it’s not good to only have one child. You said you didn’t know anyone who had just one child.

You don’t know that the choice was mine. You just assumed. You don’t know if it was even possible, you just assumed that it was. You asked me if I was on birth control and I almost lost it.


I never wanted to be disrespectful to you or anyone who meant no harm by bringing this up. I didn’t want to snap at you or anyone because maybe it’s not something to be so sensitive about. But I think you went too far.

The final straw - you said, “If you had prayed to God for another baby then He would have given you one.”

I snapped.


I can’t remember much more of the conversation, but I know from my side of the conversation I finally put you in your place. You’ve not brought this up again. But I’ve never felt any better that you apologized right then and there because you went too far.

To ALL whom it may concern, do not do this. Do not badger couples about having children or more children. They are either trying or they are not. It is their decision and not yours to worry about.