After Midnight

So. This. Happened...

It was sometime after midnight that I woke up to Christopher calling me out of a deep sleep. "Mom mom! Comemeeeere. I'm scared!" I hollered back, "You comeere I'm sleep!" He comes to get in the bed with me (Papa Bear was out of town) and he was shaking. Alarmed I sat up and asked him, "What's wrong??" He said something was making his blinds rattle.

I instantly think it's a giant roach. It's summer. It's hot and humid. They get in. I get some weapons - both of Christopher's hideous orange shoes, size 12 that he can no longer fit. I'm down on the floor. I say, "Quick! Flick the blinds and he'll come running out and I'll smash him." We had all the lights on. (Enough to land a plane) He flicks the blinds and nothing happens.

No roach.

I get up and ask him to show me the sound it was making and just then there is a loud clap of thunder and the lights go out. I peer out of his room and hear the kitchen door close just then. That only happens when someone opens another door.

I tiptoe through the living room, which is lit by the full moon through two large bay windows. I go to the kitchen door which leads to the laundry room and open it.

The other door that leads to the basement garage is open; presumably pushed open by the wind which means that the garage is open. The garage is open??? I'm thinking, OMG it's midnight and I've been asleep!

I hit the button to close the garage and remember the power is out. I start to panic that someone is in the house. I slam the door and lock it and call 911. Wobbly near tears voice, "I think there's someone in my house. I'm scared. Can someone please come check?" They don't ask me to hold.

Christopher and I peep in the open bedrooms with a flashlight. A lump is moving under the covers in a room made up for a small child. A cute lavender color scheme with colorful bedding on a twin sized mattress. "WHO'S THAT?" Christopher tells me that it's Millie and Mona (Dachshunds) and they always do that when there's a storm. Millie and Mona are dog's who belong to a Facebook friend. I said, "There's two?" Christopher looked at me like yeah duh.

We circled around to his room which has a sliding glass door and not only was it unlocked it was slightly ajar. I say, "Chriiiiiisssstopherrrrrr! Son your slider wasn't closed. That's probably what made the blinds rattle." I locked it and told him he's supposed to be the man of the house when his daddy is gone and the garage shouldn't have been open nor his slider.

Just then I remember that I'd called 911 and wished I could un call them back. I go back out to the open floor plan. In the center of the moonlit living room  which is also right by the kitchen, I notice the front door is open and I'd not seen it open before. The glass storm door had raindrops on it. Just then I hear a bunch of distant voices say, "Clear. Clear." and they were laughing.

The lights came on just as Colonel Jim Johnson is walking through the front door and turning off his flashlight. I clutched my hand to my chest, realizing I'm not wearing a bra, I cross my arms. "Uh, did we leave that unlocked too?"

He smiles big as seven other cops come in from downstairs, all laughing and reholstering flashlights. Someone is holding two boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts and they lay them on my kitchen counter and start eating them. They are milling around like they are at a party.

I ask if I interrupted a celebration and Colonel Johnson smiles with all his charming teeth and says,  "Yeah, I shouldn't be here filling out this report." He said in addition to me leaving the garage open and doors unlocked, I was the only one without power, so they flipped the breaker on the way in. "You were wide open."

As Colonel Johnson is filling out the report, flirty cop offers me a donut. I say, "No thank you. Not my party." Just then he says, "But you've got on a little black dress." I look down again remembering that I'm lopsided - no bra. And I have my night shirt that says The Original Little Black Dress. My face flushes with embarrassment and I'm catching a hot flash. Arms folded, I start to back away and I jump awake with a loud clap of thunder. @-)

The End


The "charming teeth" cop

The charming teeth cop, was none other than Mahershala Ali. He was in a People Magazine that I was looking at yesterday. I fell in love with him in the movie Hidden Figures. In my dream last night he was Colonel Jim Johnson from Hidden Figures wearing a police uniform. 


The "flirty" cop

The flirty cop was a chubby, 20-something year old boy, not nearly as attractive as Colonel Johnson, who served me at Smithfield's Chicken yesterday. He was way too young to be flirting with me. I guess he left an impression though. 

The House

Totally not mine. Christopher was showing me million dollar homes on YouTube yesterday. We do not have a cute lavender themed room made up for a child, a basement garage, bay windows or sliding glass doors in the bedrooms.

Millie and Mona

They are indeed real. Mom to the two Daschunds, posted yesterday on Facebook that Millie passed away and her adorable 4-year-old son was helping Mona to cope. :(

The Roach

I'd just shared a post with my cousin about the time I had to be brave a kill one. If one had appeared in this dream, there would be no rest of the story because I would have woken up.  

The Moon

We had a full moon last night. I do not sleep with my head towards the window when there is a full moon or walk through the house in the dark because I'm afraid of the moon's brightness casting in shadows of deer antlers or movement.  

The Orange Shoes

Krispy Kreme Donuts 

The Hot Light was on yesterday, but we didn't stop to get any. I don't think I would have turned down a donut in my dream if Colonel Johnson had offered, and if I'd been wearing a bra. 

And this is what dreams are made of!

Start writing no matter what.
The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.
— Louis L'Amour

A writer knows that once the "water flows" you can't turn it off until the well runs dry. I lost nearly three hours of night, composing myself, writing a ginormous Facebook post, getting up the nerve to recheck all the doors, and trying to go back to sleep.... 

Sporadically Yours,