Food Wars: The Battle of the Bears
Let me preface this story with explaining that when I met Papa Bear I had been a vegetarian for a good chunk of my life, but had recently started eating chicken and shrimp. Papa Bear on the other hand was Straight Outta Louisiana and ate the complete opposite. I mean like no vegetables steak and potatoes opposite.
Just like with any other ups and downs in a relationship, we occasionally go through food wars. I am currently on strike.
See, what had happened was...
Papa Bear grilled a bunch of meat for Labor Day. Just meat. I made some sides and he ate JUST MEAT for like four days. Meanwhile I had cooked a new meal that only Baby Bear aka Christopher ate and I finally threw away too much meat the following Monday on trash day.
That week I made Stuffed Shells one day, Chicken Rice and Green Beans another day and lastly Turkey Chili for the little cool front we had. Papa Bear ate the Stuffed Shells on a tiny plate one day and never ate anything I made for the rest of the week. He'll go to run an errand and I can just imagine he's out galavanting with a Popeye's chicken bone.
Christopher ate the Stuffed Shells twice. Then he ate the Chicken and rice twice. There wouldn't have been a leftover helping if Papa Bear had eaten. Exasperated by the leftovers, Christopher said, "Is it leftovers again? Is there anything else?" I glared. He ate.
The next day I made the Turkey Chili, Christopher's favorite. I know this is not Papa Bear's favorite, but if he eats it he picks the beans out and puts the chili on hotdogs and everyone is happy. Christopher eats the chili over rice with Ritz crackers.
On the day of the chili that Papa Bear saw me making, he comes home with three grocery bags full of frozen dinners. I immediately separate the two pounds of chili and put half in the freezer.
The next night Christopher reminds me of the time when he was sick and had barfed black beans. He says, "I don't think I like beans anymore." I said, "These are red beans. So are you just saying you don't like chili anymore?" He dropped his head.
I ranted and ranted and ranted and ROARED. He sulked and ate one of Papa Bear's frozen dinners while I proceeded to throw away ALL of the chili, even the frozen batch. I said, "THAT'S IT!"
"I am NOT cooking ANYMORE!"
"If y'all want to eat frozen dinners then you're going to eat frozen dinners and I can stop thinking about what's for dinner ALL DAY LONG!"
This rant was unbeknownst to Papa Bear who was probably out galavanting with a T-Bone.
I managed the strike for the weekend without appearing like there was a problem because were weren't home anyway.
On Monday I did not cook. On Tuesday I did not cook. On Tuesday night I went to take a shower and found Christopher sitting in the kitchen apparently waiting for me. I said, "I thought you would have made your dinner by now." He looked at me sadly asking, "What's for dinner?" I said, "Whatever you pull out of the freezer."
That night Papa Bear paced around the kitchen like he was looking for something. When he found nothing, he grabbed a couple grapes and huffed off to bed. Never mind the freezer full of frozen dinners.
By Wednesday I thought I had scored. You know Mama Bear 1 - The Boys 0. So I thought, here's what I'll do. I'll try a new recipe - something for ME and I'll make a side of chicken for them.
I made Sesame Broccoli & Noodles and Sesame Chicken. The house smelled like a restaurant and I was proud that is tasted so delicious. Papa Bear asked, "What is that you made?"
Insert a long pause here.
I really didn't want to answer. I wanted to go all Robert DeNiro and say, "Are you talking to ME? About FOOD?" But I nonchalantly respond, "Sesame broccoli & noodles." He asked, "What is that in the other pan?" Same tone, "Sesame chicken." He grunted.
So Papa Bear left announcing that was going to Lowe's and asked if I needed anything. Meanwhile Christopher had eaten the Sesame Chicken, Noodles and Broccoli. I had a smug smile when I saw him licking his plate. Score for Mama Bear!
Then Papa Bear returns with Chinese Shrimp Fried Rice and Chicken Wings.
I WAS LIVID. L-I-V-I-D. LIVID.
If my dinner hadn't been so delicious, I would have flung the pans in the backyard like a frisbee.
No I wouldn't have. I'm a grown up.
But I roared some sarcasm, my best defense weapon and then I huffed off to bed after taking a picture...
So I was in the grocery store shopping with hurricane and payday shoppers. Totally frazzled by the chaos, I was at a loss for what to buy because the Bears aren't eating my stuff and my list only included win/win Taco ingredients for Christopher's sleepover on Saturday.
Mama Bear 0 - The Boys - Clueless
"I can't believe it took me so long to realize that... I can't win this battle."
Let's vent together. Got anything?
Linking up with Finish the Sentence Friday where writers and bloggers finish a sentence prompt. This week’s sentence is “I can’t believe it took me so long to realize that…” hosted by Kristi Campbell from Finding Ninee, and co-hosted by Ivy Walker, from Uncharted, and Roshni from Indian American Mom.