The Elephant in the Blog Room...

I like to come here and just let whatever roll off the keyboard, staying clear of controversial topics and current events. Lots of times I come here to write and I can't because there's an elephant in my blog room. Lots and LOTS of times. 

I'm talking about the school incident that occured in my hometown Columbia, South Carolina last week between the student and the resource officer. 

I decided to voice my opinion out loud in writing because I can and because others have been gag ordered to not to.

I'm so mad about this incident for these reasons....

  • The student was African American
  • The resource officer was Caucasian
  • She didn't follow the rules
  • He went too far

Every time something happens like this, I say, "Here we go...." 

I'll let you chew on that because it's taste different for everybody. 

There are two bottom lines here. She didn't follow the rules and he went too. It's not about race this time. 

Yes I'd like to see that resource office jacked up and tossed like a rag doll because that's what my anger is telling me to feel. 

But if that was my child, I would be piping mad at her too. In a perfect world without cameras and red tape, I'd want to be the one the school called so that I could snatch her out of her seat.

Now talking about students/kids in general, and of all races... where has parenting gone wrong that we have allowed them to be the boss of us? This isn't the teachers job. It shouldn't be the administrators job. What kind of control can any of them have if our students don't respect or fear them?

It is a stereotype that black parents will beat their kids to China and back for misbehavior while other kids go into timeout if that. I can tell you that we did/do neither with our son.

Papa Bear can stand on his own for being Papa Bear but I established a clear understanding somewhere between China and timeouts that that ANY misbehavior would not be tolerated. I'm confident that even when our son is taller than me, he will be afraid of what Mama Bear will do. 

Different strokes for different folks; disciplining kids is not one size fits all. Throwing child abuse laws in the mix, disciplining kids is tricky. But it has to be done, with a vengeance. Rewarding "not so bad" leads to entitlement. Entitlement leads to trouble.

The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from, more than what you tell them. They don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.
— Jim Henson

I've always been gracious with an internal side eye when teachers compliment Christopher's behavior. But I'm thinking, "Why do you seem surprised?"

I have witnessed a conversation where a teacher confessed that she hated her job. She'd rather substitute teach and tutor than deal with her students day in and day out. She said that they are bad and it is exhausting. Then she talked about teaching and her face lit up. She loved teaching but not what it took to be able to teach. 

Isn't that a shame? 

For my son I want the teacher whose face lights up about teaching, not about my son's behavior. Because it makes me think he's only getting just enough of an education while he/she tries to get through their day.

How much class time was wasted over what happened last week? 

For every case that has gone too far, I wonder what would have happened if the victims had not fought back.

Sometimes it is about race.

Sometimes it's about respect.

Defiance makes a normal person angry and that's the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Cooperation can earn you Burger King, defiance can get you killed.

Chew on that. 

I wasn't in the classroom and I won't be in any courtroom regarding this case. But I don't want to see the resource officer getting his job back or any damages being awarded to the student. Both of them were wrong. 

What's your take?